Monday, 5 March 2018


So here we are again, another catch-up after another blogging break. This was a break I didn’t expect or want to take. Yet each time over the past six weeks that I have sat down and tried to write a post it all felt too negative and somewhat pointless.

Even now I don’t really want to put out the content I am about to write but equally this time last year blogging proved very positive for me and I would very much like to get back to that.

Frankly my life and my blog have felt negative for some time. Let me start with explaining why in relation to the blog and that will naturally move us on to life.

The Best Version of Kelly

I started my blog on a high. I was so lucky that thanks to finding the confidence to share my blogs publicly on Facebook and then in turn thanks to my friends and family for liking and commenting on my posts that my blog reached many people and my initial stats were very good for a new blogger. Sadly, interest dropped. Don’t get me wrong I knew it would happen, it is hard to keep peoples interest and maintain that initial momentum.

But because of how I am inclined to be, a pessimist with no self-confidence who fears judgement and constantly worries what people think, I took the drop in interest to heart and started to worry that by promoting my blogs I was at best annoying people and at worst making a prat of myself.

The Best Version of Kelly

It didn’t help that last year I also stopped blogging consistently because of outside factors and also made the mistake of using my blog to review toys which whilst pleasing my children did not fit in with my niche at all. It’s no wonder I lost readers!

The daft thing is that I never did this for the numbers, I did it simply for me. I just forgot that along the way. In my third month of blogging I got more than 4000 unique visitors to my blog. I believe that is a pretty amazing achievement for a new blogger yet I actually wish I hadn’t as I have never gotten close to that again and I let that get to me and instead of feeling a success  I felt a failure.
That was stupid and I am going to forget the past. See the now as a fresh start and focus less on how many people read the blog.

I also need to believe in myself again and stop worrying I am not good enough to be a blogger. The dip in my confidence has also stopped me taking blog photos and in turn a lack of photos to use has put me off blogging as I like to include photos and hate simply reusing the same old ones over and over.

The Best Version of Kelly

In January I tried to start a fresh with goals and aims for the blog and my life and I felt so positive. My first challenge was to redo the candida diet that had helped me so much last time. It is hugely challenging and extremely difficult diet to follow, but I was sure it would be worth it.

I commenced the diet on January 19th and stuck to it for thirty days. At that stage two years ago I found I was sleeping better, my patches of eczema cleared, my spots cleared, my nails were stronger and whilst I didn’t yet have more energy I knew my body liked the diet. This time I have noticed no positives from doing the diet.

Frankly that has really kicked me down mentally. I always thought if I could do the diet again it would kickstart my recovery from CFS. Last time I felt my body improving, sadly I was then put through a year of stress that undid all my hard work and now it seems that a diet change alone won’t improve things for me.

I don’t know if anything will improve things for me. It is all guesswork. There is no medical professional I can see about my CFS beyond my GP, and the GP shows little interest or understanding.

I am alone on this, left to desperately research what may work.

Diet changes, exercise, yoga, mindfulness, therapy, supplements etc. You can find many people who will claim one or other has cured them. Sadly there are no guarantees though and you will always find more people who will tell you that the same thing didn’t work for them. Most options are costly and timely and with no guarantees, that coupled with no support in selecting which to try next means it is a nightmare, a lonely and isolating nightmare.

It is hard enough suffering from a condition so few understand and having to deal with even your friends and family struggling to take it seriously due to a lack of understanding. But then to trawl through one supposed promise of recovery after another makes your head spin.

I started this blog to track my progress to better health and to inspire others. Yet I am not there yet and that too has made me question the point in this blog. Then I remember how many others are out there feeling the exact same way and so I write for you in the hope it makes you feel less alone. I write to raise awareness. I write so we can share ideas in the comments below. I write because it may change something somehow. It may bring me the answer.

The Best Version of Kelly

Last week I was contacted through my blog to see if I would be interested in reviewing an intolerance test. I jumped at the chance as I have always been curious to see if I had intolerances to certain foods. I will complete the test this week and a blog will follow.

Also the week before last I was invited to a press night at Bodega restaurant in Leicester. I almost said no and at the last minute decided to go. I had a great time catching up with some fellow local bloggers. Again a blog post on this will follow.

The two opportunities reminded me why blogging is such a wonderful thing to be a part of.

Yet to be a blogger I must blog and so here it is.

The Best Version of Kelly

My fear over writing too negative a catch up was valid in many ways yet I do not want that to put me off anymore. This isn’t just a lifestyle blog, it is a life and as such it has it’s ups and downs. It wouldn’t be fair of me to only blog when things felt good.

However you also may sometimes have to wait as I can’t always write about the lows when I am in the middle of them. That is just too hard.

So, what next? Well I am not giving up on the blog, my health or my goals. I am simply going to take the pressure off and work at my own pace. The next two posts should be the two reviews I referred to above. Then I think I will do a goal update. Then who knows!

If you would like to read about my 2018 goals you can do so here.

If you would like to read about the candida diet and why I tried it you can here.

Thank you for reading.

Kelly x


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