I want to share with you my make-up story and how it has
been affected by my fear of judgement. This is how I turned my fear of make-up into a love of make-up.
Make-up is such a personal thing and each person has their
own relationship with it. I love that there are no rules and that it can be
fun. For many years, all I used make up for was to hide my spots and it wasn’t fun
at all.
My fear of judgement was first recognised about 18 months ago,
and I’ve been working on facing that fear ever since. One of the things I regularly
spoke about with my therapist was how self-conscious I have always been about
my appearance. Because I felt that way I absolutely did not want to be judged
on it so I tried to always ensure my appearance didn’t alter thereby not drawing
attention to it.
When it came to make-up I had a very limited comfort zone. I
would not leave the house without make up on, not even to the local shop, not
even to the post box. However, I also wouldn’t add to it for a night out. From
my early twenties until last year, each day I wore tinted moisturiser,
concealer, blusher, mascara and maybe a nude lipstick. No more, no less.
I even wore it to swim, I just left off the mascara and
lipstick and prayed no one realised.
I started to wear make-up initially at about age 17 after
one of my cousins taught me some techniques to apply it. I still hated for it
to be noticeable so I didn’t wear foundation and I wouldn’t add blusher as I
was sure on my pale skin it stood out from a mile off. So, I simply wore
concealer, powder and mascara. After a few years, I realised the powder was
doing me no good and that I looked like a ghost! So, I changed it to the
routine explained above.
I believe it was two years ago, that the craze went around Facebook
to post a make-up free selfie? I was nominated but I couldn’t bring myself to
it. Vanity didn’t stop me, downright fear did.
Eventually my therapist got me to start going out without make
up. First on the school run. Then for days at work. I needn’t have been scared
at all. No one treated me any differently at all. It was a revelation. Here’s a
recent make-up free picture.
The next challenge was to wear more make-up. I went into
town one Tuesday morning on my own, I needed it to be quiet so I didn’t lose my
nerve. I stood outside Debenhams waiting for it to open, my intention was to
visit a make-up counter. I had always avoided that before. The heavily made up
assistants made me feel so intimidated and I was sure they would judge me as
not good enough. I’d imagine them thinking, ‘Why would someone who looks like
you bother with nice make-up?’
I walked back out at first, then after some encouragement
from a friend on the phone I went back in and found myself on a seat at the MAC
counter. The lady who helped me was so lovely! She was patient with me and
reassured me, she was also very complimentary and told me I should wear make-up
more as it really suited me. She picked some eyeshadows and taught me how to
apply them. I bought those, a blusher and a lipstick. I was so proud of myself!
I came home and worried I wouldn’t remember what she had
taught me so I decided to search YouTube for a tutorial. That was it, I was
hooked. I loved watching all these girls and women doing their make up. From
teenagers to women in their forties and beyond. They loved make up! It was a
passion, a hobby, an obsession even and you know what, it was fantastic. They weren’t
wearing it for other people, they wore it for themselves.
Whilst I still don’t wear what many would consider a full
face of make-up, I am much more experimental than I used to be. Best of all I
can now do the school run in full make up as happily as I can do it with none
and regularly switch between the two.
Make up is finally fun, if not a tad expensive. Ooops!
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That is such an encouraging story! Well done :)
ReplyDeleteThank you ☺
DeleteLOOK AT YOU. You're so cute! With or without, honestly; but what you've done with your lashes in the bottom picture makes your eyes just pop.
ReplyDeleteBrightly-coloured eyeshadows are a huge part of my personal style, I'm no expert but I love having an extra canvas on which to express myself.
Lis / last year's girl x
Thank you so much. Sorry for my embarrassingly late reply x
DeleteI wish you had known before how pretty and young you always looked Kel! ( Either with or without makeup.) Glad you've gained more confidence 😀 xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Kris xx
DeleteI'm in my 30s too and also have a fear of make up. My fear comes more from a lack of knowledge as I was never close with my Mum so didn't really get shown how to use it! I must learn one day.
ReplyDeleteYou look lovely both with and without the makeup. I'm glad you found the desire to experiment, it is fun.
ReplyDeleteMy story is almost identical EXCEPT I didn't touch makeup. Maybe mascara and gloss...that was it. Then a few years ago my face was breaking our horribly due to pregnancy and I thought makeup would help me cover up.
ReplyDeleteI am the same as you and never wanted to draw attention to myself. I got so many comments..like: who did your makeup? Is this how you look all the time now?
I've come to embrace it....a full face of makeup...bare face...either way I do what I want to...whether other people like it or not!
Loved this post...agree...so EXPENSIVE! Yikes!