ABOUT ME

Hi and welcome to my blog. 

 

I'm Kelly. I am 38 years old and a married mum of two who lives in Leicestershire. My Daughter is 8 and my son is 5.


I blog about Lifestyle, Fashion, Parenting, Mental Health, CFS, Food and everything me.

I have suffered for many years with Depression and in more recent years with Anxiety. In 2015 I was also diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). 

I've always known that healthy eating, exercising and relaxing would aid my mental health yet I still never did it. The CFS has been the wakeup call I needed and I have vowed that 2017 will be the year I change my ways.

My anxiety, lack of confidence and a fear of judgement have also prevented me for from enjoying fashion and beauty and that too is to change.

As a maths graduate and finance manager I've always considered myself to be logical and scientific and not at all creative. Now through writing and a new-found passion for photography I am realising I can be creative after all and I am loving it.

I've committed to making a lot of changes this year and I will be blogging that journey.

I've challenged myself to ensure that every photo on my blog will be taken by or feature me. I've also signed up to this year’s Pretty Muddy race!

Have a good look around the blog and I hope you enjoy what you find.

Kelly x




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2 comments

  1. Good luck with your journey forwards - it's helpful to understand that in 95% of cases, depression and anxiety are really down to simple things like a chemical imbalance, not any kind of personal failure and whilst you can be shaped by life events and trauma (like childhood abuse), they don't define you ultimately, you have a choice - the mind, body and spirit are powerful and can overcome these things through, love, healthy living and meditation - and I don't mean geeky existential stuff. For example: listening to a calming audio whilst you go to sleep in a clean, nicely smelling, comfortable bedroom can help put the mind into a state of relaxation - then you enjoy a better sleep and a better following day. In my case I got a labrador and just stroking him and playing on the floor makes me feel better, joy, for want of a better word. Stroking an animal releases a feel good chemical in the brain for both dog and human. So does sunshine. And swimming (reminds the mind of the womb).

    Try to isolate the activity that is driving the anxiety if you can - this will help (job, stress, routine, sleep, food, whatever it is) then challenge it one day at a time. For me, I learnt that it's work, probably because I am constantly trying to prove that I am worthy - always driven, I drink too much coffee and have an in-built ability to live on 4 hours sleep since I was a teen... I just don't stop. I have an official day job like everyone and an evening job till 3 in the morning. I don't drink or smoke, am slim without being thin and was really surprised when it hit me after my dad died - Doctor said I was physically and mentally wasted with my adrenal in overdrive, a bit like an addiction. I took Prozac for 12 months to force me to slow down (it did) and to lift the depression. I took myself off it 2 years ago and I genuinely feel better now even though I still have ups and downs in my life like everyone else. I can see positives in those situations too.

    Part of this for me now is to build in a rest period every day (like a walk at lunch time) and try to get to bed earlier, even if I read or watch a movie on iPad - doesn't matter, brain is coasting. I cycle and walk the hound for exercise and fresh air. I eat healthily generally although I like a beer and the odd cake. Not perfect by any means but considerably better than the pressure I used to put myself through every day. And genuinely, I can feel the difference now - feel more positive through the day and this spurs me on to continue and develop a better routine for myself. Right now I am exploring lucid dreaming which is really exciting - something I have had happen naturally before - didn't realise I could develop it into a skill.

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  2. Note: like losing weight or fitness in general, nothing seems to be improving for the first few weeks or even months but if you stick to a positive routine it will start to kick in - someone will comment that you look well and then you realise the positive change is having an effect.

    It's incredibly hard when you are in a black patch, I know, you simply feel everything is worthless, pointless. But even in that state try to reason with yourself - this is not real, not normal, life, family and the sunshine are still there outside. It's just an imbalance that will level out. For every night, the sun will still rise in the morning. Get some sleep, switch off if it gets too much. You will feel better.

    Last thing on creativity - I am a designer by trade and paint / decorate / make things for fun. I believe that everyone has this within and it can be built out with exercise so yes go for it. Its also one of those chemical things as well in a positive way - the act of creating order out of chaos makes you feel better. Creating and achieving something, however small, also generates a positive balance - so its all good :) And there is no judgement in art despite the BS in books - my son and I created some in 5 minutes by accident last night with his phone and Photoshop - I will send it to you as a Tweet message.

    Sorry if this rambled - on second cup of coffee (eeek) and wanted to pass on something positive to you. Best wishes and much love. Paul

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